I like Halloween because you get to dress up and put wigs on and wear cool costumes and eat candy. I still like eating candy on Halloween and I also love giving candy out to children. Although, I have to be honest and say that I haven’t given candy out for a couple of years now, but when I can, I try.
What I don’t like about Halloween is all the scary movies and fake haunted houses. I think you will all remember that last year I peed my pants at the corn maze in Colorado. It was fantastic. I hate haunted houses as much as I hate the butterfly pavilion. Things pop up out of nowhere, get in your face and freak you out on purpose. I’ve been known to swing at a scary clown that jumps up from a couch and at butterflies. I don’t care. Either one of those two things near me, and I’m swinging away like the little boy on Mel Gibson’s movie, Signs. “Swing away Jaz, Swing away!”
Well, I became a little braver last week and watched Paranormal Activity with the hubs. I wanted him to see it and I’ve already seen it and know where all the scary parts are so I can cover my ears, mouth, face, eyes at the same time. It’s what I do when I get scared, aside from pee my pants. I did a good job, but I told my hubs that I hated watching movies about demons and the devil because I always feel like they are keeping tabs at how many exorcism movies or demon movies I watch. So I tend to stay away if I can so they don’t keep those tabs. It’s the same thing with aliens, I feel like they know that I’m interested, so they’ll send out their head hunters looking for me.
I wish they would make a Paranormal Activity Latino style. I can only imagine the hubs sitting at home, and I calmly tell him, after years of dating that I am in fact haunted by a demon that tried to kill me and my family a few years ago, and that it pops up whenever he feels like it. He would probably, slap me, and run out the door. Mexican’s don’t play around with bad energy, demons, or satan. We don’t even pretend to because we are that scared! We can’t even think about La Llorona when I’m near a river or in southern Colorado, because just thinking about her makes me pee my pants. I have friends who have sworn on their life and under oath (I made them do it, they told me they have seen or heard her!)
I also love how they call out to it, like “who’s there? Is anyone here?” I can just imagine the demon laughing in the corner to itself by how absurd we look. It’s a demon, not an intruder. Latinos and demons don’t last very long and we don’t wait 18 days to get someone in there to cleanse our house and bodies. The moment I feel a “no bueno” energy, I would be at the church, talking to a priest, sleeping in the church. These people call a psychic and wait. That’s why you die. Because you wait too long and you try to talk to them like Obama tries to talk to Congress. It’s not going to happen.
Now there’s Paranormal Activity 3, and it makes me never want to have children. These little girls purposefully called on Bloody Mary (white version of la Llorona) and now she’s there. You called, she answered, your fault. Every kid tried to do this when I was in elementary school, but I knew better and always stayed away from those morons. Again, Latino parents would have taken their children straight to church. Not record them and laugh about them. Damn you scary ass little girls! I probably will watch it, but good lord, that’s like two demon movies in a month! I am very afraid of demonios and satanas, put them up there on my list of “Things I never want to encounter in my life, ever” along with Great White Sharks and Aliens.